Lexington Calzone Week


Pizza? Never Heard of It.

Welcome to Lexington Calzone Week 2017, a five-day celebration of savory pastries, delicate little dough pockets filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.

Is this real?

First of all, how dare you?
Are you asking if I'm really telling you to eat 15 calzones in 5 days?
...Sure, in that case, it's real.

Do the restaurants even know this is happening?

Not as such, no.

Fine, what do I do?

For an entire week, go to the places listed below, and eat as many calzones as your animal brain will allow. Eat irresponsibly. But first a few ground rules.

  • 1. THEY WILL NOT RUN OUT.
    Nobody knows this is happening, and nobody ever orders calzones. Take advantage and get several.
  • 2. DO NOT BUY ANYTHING ELSE.
    A calzone is a meal in a pizza pocket. Side dishes just slow you down.
  • 3. THERE MIGHT BE WAITS.
    It's a restaurant, not your house. Sometimes other people are there. Maybe go at like 2pm, nobody's ever there at that time.
  • 4. USE HASHTAG #LEXINGTONCALZONEWEEK.
    Let your friends know what you're doing to your body.
  • 5. THERE ARE NO SPECIALS.
    We think all calzones are special.